So I finally hooked up with this guy after about two years of missing each other. We fooled around a couple of times before I moved from Alabama. Sort of a regular.
He came over tonight. The sex was good. He talked entirely too much before and after. I was in the mood to do the damn thang, not chit chat and catch up on shit. Dude lingered around for about after an hour!
UGH!
On my way home Friday from work, I stopped by the ABC liquor store and bought a liter of Malibu Coconut Rum. When I got home, I mixed it with some orange juice and had two classes of the concoction. A little while after, still buzzing, I had the runs like crazy. Ewww. IKR! TMI.
And last night after I had my turkey sub from subway, I stayed on the toilet in the wee hours in the morning. I don’t know what’s been going on with my digestive system lately but it’s been mad at me.
At the liquor store, right when I was checking out and reaching for my wallet, a guy came in to the store (to my register) and said someone lost this. It was my wallet! I was sooo blown. I thanked the dude after I came to my senses. God had mercy on me even though He knew I was about to get tipsy! Shame on me!
June 11 through the 15th, I visited the Maryland/DC area to visit a couple of friends (made some new ones) and my cousin. I had a blast to say the least.
A few days after I got back from MD, I was extremely horny so, I texted D to see what he was up to:
Since my last post about D, we’ve hung out in Georgia once (probably back in May) and hooked up in June (a few days before his birthday).
When we “hung” out, he texted me Sunday afternoonish asking me what I was doing. I was napping when he sent the text. Of course all excited about getting some attention from Mr. D, I texted him back saying I wasn’t doing anything. He wanted to go to Atlanta and hang out at the park (Piedmont of all places). I was down to get out of the house and spending some time with him, though it was a little late in the afternoon. I found out that he had been at home all week because he was recovering from surgery in his groin area (inner thigh). Supposedly he had a tumor or growth in the area that was causing him pain. He finally had it removed, but was told to take it easy by his doctor.
So the 19 year old (we shall call him E) and I hooked up again last night. We hooked up for the first time in November and again in January. It had been a little over a month since I fooled around with someone and incidentally, it was E. (more…
So I was flirting with this 19 year old online one day. We had exchanged numbers and he texted me and was like, “Hey Daddy!” WTF?!? Was my reaction. When did I become a daddy. I know I’m over 30 and all, but damn! See that’s why I can’t seriously date anyone younger than 5 to 7 years younger than me.
I’m not ready for cougar status. 
After this situation with D, I’ve been trying to pysch myself in thinking I was good without him, that he was a low down bastard not worth my heart. Whether that’s true or not, I failed in pysching myself out.
I been in a little depressing mood, or funk, I would prefer to call it. I don’t like to call what I’m feeling depression, because I can still laugh, talk and have a good time in spite of what my heart is going through. High functioning depression maybe?
I’ve found myself thinking about him while laying in bed waiting for sleep to set in. Thinking about him holding me like he did that last time. Feeling the heat from his body. Feeling his breath on the back of my neck. Feeling him pulling me close to him throughout the night.
Anyway, I’ve finally realized that it’s just going to take time to get over this guy, I can even start to feel that it’s working. But it sucks that this guy I once cared for (and somewhat still do), doesn’t seem to care or be concern about one iota about my life. Is honesty so much to ask for these days? Just tell me you’re not interested, I could deal with that better than total lack of apathy.
#idontgetit
When I meet new guys be it in real life or online, I have a set of flags that I monitor that go up depending on what the other person says or do. There are green, yellow and red flags. Green is of course good. Yellow means warning or caution and red means, Uh oh. 
So this one guy hits me up on a certain social website that caters to a certain group of men. He’s a nice looking guy; I can dig him. He posts a message on my “wall” stating that he wants me to send him a message. But he ends up sending a private message first. In the message he complements me and sends me his number and tells me to call anytime.
So it’s Sunday morning and I call. No answer, but I left a voicemail telling the guy who I am. About 30 to 45 minutes later I get a text from him that says, “Good Morning! Who is this?” I was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!? What the fuck did I leave a fucking voicemail for?” A red flag went up. I was angry, HOT! An hour later, I texted him back, “this is [insert social networking website handle here] from [insert said social networking website].” Then TWO hours later he responds. I didn’t. Then TWO hours after that he asks what my name is. I can maybe understand that the first two to three hours he might have been in church or busy, but in the matter of about 3 hours, you should have listened to the voicemail by now.
So far this dude has struck out with me. Listen to your fucking voicemail!
#thatisall
You little dick motherfucka
Why the hell am I sweatin you?
How the fuck I let you in my house
Cooked a fucking meal for you,
and then you fucked me.
I feel like the fucking fool.
And then you still try to use me.
You fucked over a good man.
Nigga you stupid.
FUCK YOU!
I wish I could say that, “Momma didn’t raise no fool.” But I’ve done some very foolish things in my life and I have let people use me, get under my skin and what not. I don’t regret that those things happened because I have learned to know it when I see it coming. I suppose this one guy got me under cloak and dagger. I will be the wiser the next time. Sometimes I just don’t understand men. Seems like I would being one myself. 
About four weeks ago, I get hit up on BGC (I KNOW I KNOW). After years of being a member of these “hook up” sites, I know the types of guys that are mostly on there. They are mostly Bullshitters. So, when I meet someone from those sites, my expectations are VERY low.
My profile on BGC pretty much says, “I’m an uncomplicated dude not looking for mess and or drama. No broke dudes. Looking for friends, hook ups or relationships (HA!) <— me being cynical, sorry“ Certain attributes are filled in with truth, while certain ones are left out. (more…